Another hard day

Yesterday was a rough day. I know that I'll have them..but they still hurt. I worked later yesterday like I usually do on Mondays and at 4:15 the thought of me needing to hurry home because it's monday and jeff has morgan crossed my mind. I had to get home in time for him to leave for work...I loved mondays..it seemed like she was extra happy to see me. If I could only drive home to her and her daddy waiting there for me...it would make my day. I miss her. (that's an understatement) I would have never left her..not even for a second.. if I knew I would only get to enjoy her for almost 8 months. She was so perfect, so happy...why is she gone? I just want to be mommy...have that feeling that nobody else can fill. That feeling in your heart knowing your baby needs you, and depends on you...I miss it. The ned of the month is always tough..the 24th is just a evil number..i dread the 24th of the month now. It'll be extra hard because the 23rd is Jeffs birthday..and the 24th of this month is our anniversary...It'll be hard to celebrate. I almost don't want to have family get togethers...because part of our family is missing. The biggest part. Then, Sunday will be the 27th...she would have been 10 months. I wonder what she would be doing now..I know she'd be walking..I wonder if she would have learned any new words by now? My heart hurts...I just want her back. I know I'll get to see her again, but somedays that just doesn't make it any better. I want to be with her now...