A hole in my heart

Last thursday evening I took a step forward and decided it was time for me to try something new so I joined a support group. Every 2nd Thursday of the month Christian bereaved mothers meet in this group..which is called 'A Hole In My Heart.' Last Thursday the daddys were invited too, because there was a guest speaker which was a bereaved father in honor of fathers day being this month..so thankfully, Jeff got to join me!At first, I wasn't fond of meeting a bunch of strangers and watching me bawl like a baby while I try and get through my 'story', but God once again gave me the amount of strentgh that I needed and I overcame it!! I met about 10 moms that evening and 2 dads that has lost a child. And FINALLY i met a couple of moms with younger..(not infants) but younger childern that the cause of death was tragic and accidetal. So many times I explain to people that my daughters death was such a shock, such a tragedy..nobody EVER saw something like this happening. Not that it makes in any easier to live with, but,  mothers with childern that have a disease or illness does not ever like to think of their child meeting Jesus before they get to, but the thought has to cross their mind that it could happen. Morgan's death was so...UNREAL! I don't think anyone could have thought something like this could happen.. Living with the images, and grief is something I've learned I will be dealing with for the rest of my life here on this earth. The majority of the Moms in this group lost thier child around 15+ years ago, and they seem to still be greiving as bad as I am, ad it's not even hit the 5 month anniversary yet for me. It's bittersweet. To see that the other moms did raise other childern, however no matter how much time and how many events have taken place since they lost their child, they still have 'a hole in their heart.' I believe that this is a start to something new in my journey, and pray that it will comfort my heart in some way.