well we are finally moved in. and just as I had imagined I am already lost as to what is next. this week is by far going to be the toughest week We've had to go through since January. my baby girl would have turned 1 friday. a year ago god blessed me with my angel and she was more perfect than I could have ever imagined. 9 months of a perfect pregnancy and then being blessed with a perfectly happy and healthy baby..god surely blessed us.from that moment on my dreams and ambitions for morgan began. I just knew we would have a lifetime of happiness and love and the joys of being called mommy and daddy forever. never ever would I have thought a year ago from that day would be planning her first birthday party without her. I'm not even sure if this is really what I want to do, but we will soon see. we have decided to celebrate the 27th, with our closests family and friends and remember the love and joy morgan brought to each of us this time last year, and the 8 months she spent her time here on this earth with us. I am still in total shock and disbeief that this has even happened after the planning and tears that this week will bring I have a feeling that this will be it for a while.my brain has to stay focused or it tends to wonder in places it and the thoughts, and guilt all start replay. from this side of things it seems as if the light is getting further and further away from the tunnell. I just see a very dark nothing when I look to the end. I have no clue what god has instore for jeff and I, and deep down I know he's not going to leave us here to suffer..but just not knowing what we want for the future is just mind boggeling. Everyday have a different aspect on how to handle things. some days are more positive than others, but the days that are dark and devistating are hard to see past. I pray for strenth this week..and honestly every week..but there is nothing I want more than to see my morgan on her birthday. I love you sweet girl. and mommy prays that our day is coming soon.
The 1st birthday is always the hardest. I think you're doing the right thing by celebrating her life. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts this coming week.
ReplyDeleteTiffany and Jeff, I know this is going to be the hardest week so far for yall. Please remember God is the light. I pray everday for the Lord to show you little signs that Morgan is doing wonderful. I know that does not take the pain away but it gives you a little comfort. I feel in my heart that all this planning your doing to make Morgans 1st birthday party so perfect. That she is going to be smiling down on her mommy and daddy say they are the best parents that any child could ever have. Cause you two always make sure she has the best of the best and yall still do. I love you two so much!!!! Lord please give these two wonderful parents the strength, comfort and peace and joy in their hearts to make it through each and everyday. In Jesus name!!!! Miss Morgan Aunt Ama loves you so much.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Morgan Rilee! Love you Tiff!
ReplyDeleteAddy